I Will Never Fear

May 25, 2023

This passage served as my inspiration during the darkest chapter of my life when I was all alone (except my loving daughter, Naomi) and until after my quadruple heart bypass surgery on June 1998. The fact that I am still alive and able to serve God the last 25 years prove that there is no reason for me to be afraid because God has always been with me to sustain and protect me. Whenever I feel alone and in the pit of darkness due to anxiety brought about by my health conditions, the Lord and His words are my light and my salvation.

It was when I turned 40 in 1993, that I started feeling sick. It is really true that life starts at 40 - I was diagnosed with diabetes, gout, and started having chest pains but my doctors only dismissed them as acid reflux or muscle pains. I was pleased with their findings. Some years later, I was in an out of the ER due to chest pain and breathing problem. It began on one Sunday afternoon after I preached in IBBC Alameda that I asked to be rushed to Kaiser Oakland ER. I started feeling chest pain in the middle of my message but I decided to finish and gave invitation and several souls got saved. In Oakland ER, I was finally diagnosed with unstable angina.

That started my long and painful medical journey that made me totally dependent on prescription drugs. In March of 1998, I decided to go to ER Vallejo for another angina attack but this time it was severe. Initially, the ER doctor if brushed off as nothing significant that the doctors in their private conversation started calling me a Psychosomatic and an hypochondriac. I was advised to go home and rest but I adamantly refused and demanded an angiogram procedure. Praise God for the advise given by our doctors and nurses in IBBC who were informed of my heart condition.

The result of the angiogram surprised me and the ER doctors that they started to attend to me closely. I learned later that the angiogram revealed several blockages in my arteries (in different stages of severities) that I had to undergo an emergency open heart surgery the next day. I recalled being prepped that night and was given an orientation with video to watch so I know what to expect, explained possible scenario that would include death.

The next morning, while being wheeled into the operation room at St Mary’s Hospital in San Francisco, I could vividly remember staring at my daughter, Naomi and her mother, thinking that would be the last time I would see them alive. Inwardly, I prayed to God for successful operation. The Lord answered my prayers!

It was during my recovery, while I was kept in my house in Fairfield for 3 months that the Lord used this powerful verse, “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear. The Lord is the strength of my life: of whom shall I be afraid.”

I immersed myself in this verse that everytime I was in pain, unable to breathe, having a congestive heart that I had to go back to ER to drain my lungs, God, through this verse was my comfort and strength. I Praise God for my daughter Naomi, who was always there by my side every night. I appreciate our nurses and couples of IBBC, who took turns round the clock to take care and encourage me. Bro. Gil was my chief nurse who was always there to take care of my very personal needs. These are the memories that I will always cherish and be thankful for.

Conclusion:

Let me share with your the song the Lord gave me during my difficulties:

“I will never fear”

I will never fear the world,

I will not allow its arms to rule

With my life I yield my all to Him.

Even if my friends leave me

I will not lose sight of Thee

I will never fear the world

Just You Lord!

Chorus:

It is You I fear, oh Lord,